Stepping Into Parenting--Part I

I was married six days when I became a mother.  I thought, "Cool!  This will be like ultimate babysitting and I LOVE to babysit!"  I smile now at my naivete.  My new husband's little ones--ages 15 months and 38 months--arrived without toys, diapers or directions.    Nobody could understand the three-year-old when she talked and she thought the little one was her sole property so she wouldn't let anybody touch him.  She also thought his name was:  My Baby. The baby of reference woke up screaming, with poopie diapers, at all hours of the night--every night--and suffered from croup and chronic ear infections.  To make matters worse, I had only dated their father for four months before we got married and both of us turned up VOLATILE on a premarital personality test.

The only things we had going for us were that our mothers loved and believed in us, and our church family embraced us unconditionally.  (Certain 40s-ish couples in our church even came alongside and mentored us.)  The three-year-old was jealous of me from the start and the baby couldn't figure out what the heck was going on.  But we became a family. 

On many, many occasions I was the evil step-monster.  People thought I was mean and bossy when in fact, I generally just tried to do the right thing.  I was the parent who made the children eat right, put away their toys, do their homework,  use good manners and brush their teeth.  I was not the parent who allowed them to do as they pleased, eat junk for three days straight, grow sweaters on their teeth, carry food around the house and have romantic relationships at eleven.  I refused to be any other kind of parent.  Did I make mistakes?  Yes. A lot of them?  Yes again.  I was often harsh and I have seen the worst of me reflected in my son's eyes.  But--I loved and kissed these children.  I told them stories and helped them through tough times at school and at play.  I became an active Cub Scout mom and went on most field trips.  I infused Bible verses and principles into our lives daily.  I even homeschooled when the going got rough in the classroom.  I fell in love with them. 

It was hard and I wanted to quit a million times over but I am so glad I didn't.  These two children have grown into amazing adults.  They are well-mannered and smart.  They both brush their teeth and know how to keep themselves clean and snappy.  They are treasures and I am so proud of them both.